Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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