well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
