So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
