You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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