should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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