it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
