Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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