ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
