Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
