You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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