Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
