I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
