so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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