On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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