Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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