you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize