Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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