Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize