Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
