This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
