no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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