yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
