Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
