Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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