i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
