reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
