problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
