While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Found your dick twin last night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize