who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I had to cum in my sink.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
