You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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