meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize