Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
