I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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