You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
