ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize