Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
