I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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