she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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