What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
