Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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