Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
