Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
