I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
