You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
