I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
