I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
