we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
