it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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