You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
