I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
