im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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