he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
