Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
