It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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