it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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