i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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