First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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