Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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