She said her name was "party"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
