You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
